I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
