She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
