Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
