she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
