This girl is more easily done than said...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
