I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
