After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
