I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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