Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
