she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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