I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
