i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
