a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
