Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
