she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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