How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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