There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
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