The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
