why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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