Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
