i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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