I want to have your abortion
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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