Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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