k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
