Porn is love you can see.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
