So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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