Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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