Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
