I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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