what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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