Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
