just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
And then he peed in my hair
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