You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
