I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
