God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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