Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
