hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
