He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
