You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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