Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
