how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
