I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
