i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
