I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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