Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
