He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
