I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
