Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
