It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
