Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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